Sad and Disappointed

Well, thank you all for your kind words and support.  I just recieved the news that we lost both babies.  Friday morning was a complete miscarriage.  While i'm sad and disappointed, I still feel hope that I made it farther than I ever had before in being able to actually get pregnant.  We'll be doing another retrieval in May most likely and then another transfer in July.  While i'm sad i still think we will eventually get pregnant and stay pregnant for the full term.  I feel empty and hollow at the loss but all I can think is that my baby's spirit hasn't been ready to join us yet.  When he is ready things will happen.  Until then i'll keep checking in with you all and writing out what we are doing to move forward to the next step.  Thanks for letting me use this space to write with feedback as that is the most helpful and healing thing i have encountered so far.  Much appreciation and love to you all for your support and comments.

 

Jen

Published Monday, December 31, 2007 2:59 PM by jrc872
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Comments

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Tuesday, January 01, 2008 1:53 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! But I agree with you, when your baby or babies are ready to enter this world, they will and they will be healthy and perfect in every way! Best of luck!

by pudgio100

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Tuesday, January 01, 2008 1:53 PM

I am so sorry for your loss! But I agree with you, when your baby or babies are ready to enter this world, they will and they will be healthy and perfect in every way! Best of luck!

by pudgio100

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Wednesday, January 02, 2008 1:32 PM

Oh my gosh! I am so, so sorry to hear this news! How are you holding up? Is there anything we can do for you?

Please know that our prayers and well-wishes are with you!

by Megan

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Wednesday, January 02, 2008 7:52 PM

Thanks so much for your kind words.  I'm doing ok.  I think today I realized that i'm still emotionally in shock.  My husband is very supporting and we talk lots.  At this point i need to focus on the things i need to do to prepare for the next round of IVF.  I'll probably keep posting to let you all know about my progress and so that i can read your comments and thoughts as they help me make it through the tough times and help me enjoy a laugh or two during the good times. thanks again you have no idea how helpful it is to know that i have a place where i can voice my thoughts without having to talk to not so supporting family.

I've already written my goals for the month of January.  They are to stick to the gestational diabetes diet I was on while pregnant, exercise at least 3-4 times per week for 1/2 to 1 hour and drink at least a liter of water every day (not to forget my vitamins everyday too!)  This should put me on the road to be back in good health physically for the next retrieval and transfer.  Thanks again.  In the mean time i'm going to take it easy for another week until i feel at least close to 100% again and get clearance from the DR.   Love to all of you.

Jen

by jrc872

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Friday, January 04, 2008 1:18 AM

I am so sorry for your loss. Dont lose hope, your in my thoughts

by kristen schrantz

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Friday, January 04, 2008 10:10 AM

Be brave, Jen! I love your January goals-- you're doing GREAT!!!

by mamania

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Friday, January 04, 2008 11:49 PM

I'm new here, but couldn't help but feel for you. I have had three miscarriages and am so sorry to hear that you've had go through this. It doesn't go away, but does get easier after a while, if you allow the healing process....it's not an easy road I'll be praying for you......

by waitn2long

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Saturday, January 05, 2008 8:09 PM

thank you so much waitn2long.  I have so many questions.  The first few days i was resolute to what had happened and knew that it was a possibility.  I started to plan for what to do next.  Now i feel as though i'm lost at sea and i have no idea where land is.  i feel the loss as something so much larger than those little embryos ever made it to be.  When does it get easier?  I feel like a failure.  like i should have done more or bettereven though logically i know there is nothing i could have done to change the outcome.  Thanks for your kind words and i'll keep you in my prayers as well.  love and blessings to you and your family.

Jen

by jrc872

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Sunday, February 03, 2008 12:33 AM

I am extremely sorry for your loss. I have had two miscarriages. The pain don't go away, but what made it easier for me was knowing that if I didn't suffer the first one I wouldn't have my daughter, and if I hadn't suffered the second one, I wouldn't have my son.

So, hang in there, and when you start feeling down, remember this: In the end, when you finally get to hold your bundle of joy in your arms, all of the pain and suffering you have gone through; it will all be worth. I know your dream may sometimes seem out of reach and so far off...but keep trying, you will get your baby...Love and prays, Katie Beth

by Katie Mathews

# re: Sad and Disappointed@ Monday, February 04, 2008 4:32 PM

I can't even imagine what you are going through, but your strength is inspiring. My prayers are with you.

by ACal93