As I play at the playground with my boys, I hear stories about the love, appreciation, regrets and guilt that moms feel throughout motherhood. I hear two moms talking as they support each other from two different perspectives.
One woman is taking the day off from work to spend time with her son. She needs to work for financial reasons but often regrets the time that she misses with her son. He is now going into first grade and she says that she feels like she has missed so much.
The other woman stays home with her daughter and expresses guilt that she misses going into an office for work. She thinks that she should be grateful for the time that they have together and yet misses her work friends and lifestyle. She complains about the guilty feeling and regret but truly loves her daughter and wishes that there was something more that she could do to feel better about herself.
As I listen to them talk I quietly understand that the simple gesture of talking and listening helps a mom feel validated and understood. These moms are community, standing on a playground, loving their children and bonding.
Moms have a common thread; we are first and foremost a mother. We think about our child when we are with them and think about them even more when we are away from them. Moms question our decisions because they impact the lives of our children. We want what is best for our child and family, and tend to sacrifice our own needs for the needs and well being of others.
I am not for moms’ giving so much that they forget to fulfill their own needs and desires in the process, but understand how it can happen.
I believe that a mom deserves the praise and appreciation of her family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors because no decision that a mom makes is made lightly. There is always the thought in the back of our mind how this will affect our child, family, and their happiness.
Motherhood has never been easy; it has always been a full time job. Some moms have strong opinions on raising children and voice them at the expense of other moms. In my opinion a mom never stops being a mom; we are moms at home, at work, in the car, at the store, etc.
It is discouraging to hear moms at odds with each other. At the end of the day we are a community that needs to support each other, understand and encourage our decisions and work together to raise strong, capable children that know how to love and honor each other.
Maintaining balance or at least harmony in life and showing our kids how to do the same is one of the hardest things for a mother to do. Guilt and regret serve no one and weigh on decisions, family and happiness.
Moms know that motherhood is rewarding in ways beyond words of praise and recognition. Words are few and far between but the feeling of personal satisfaction runs deep, knowing that our children and families are cared for, happy and thriving.
People often notice the pile of laundry but never mention the neatly folded clothes in the drawers. They see the dishes in the sink or the spots on the mirror but seldom comment on the home cooked meal or fully stocked refrigerator. Let alone the hours of support given to help a child become an honor student, the hours supporting practice and games, music lessons, ballet, math camp, contributing to the PTA, driving for field trips, and baking cookies for the girl scout meeting.
It goes without saying that a mom’s job is never done; there is always a toy to pick up, a skinned knee to kiss, a late night waiting for a child to come home from a first dance, or even standing in the delivery room as our baby has a baby. Even when our children are grown, a mom is still a mom, thinking and hoping for the happiness of our child.
As my children grow into the people they will become, I honor them and those who support me along the way. For the moments of sharing, listening and supporting in ways that seem so simple at the time, thank you!
I am grateful for moms everywhere!
You are doing a GREAT job!
Stop worrying about tomorrow and enjoy today. Know that your choices are made from your heart and that no matter what, you made them with love.
Smile at another mom, tell her "Great Job" and support each other. If we don’t, who will?
We are a community of moms who need each other, deserve to feel good about our choices and not look back; only our future and the future that we are creating with and for our children deserve our attention.
I am proud to be a part of the community of mothers everywhere and I am proud of you!
Off to make another Mommy Milestone.