I enjoy my days but love my nights and not for the reasons that you might think. Yes, I look forward to night time because Joe and I get to be alone. I get a few precious minutes of quiet time to think and reflect on the day. But, my favorite part about night time is bedtime and spending it with my boys.

It is one time during the day that we can relax and connect. We all lie on Mommy and Daddy’s bed with the lights off and wind down. We have created a wonderful routine that includes reading books, watching Franklin or Bob the Builder, lying together in bed, and talking while we listen to classical music. It takes us about an hour to get from putting on jammies to going to sleep, but it is worth the time.

We ask AJ who he wants to lay in his bed with him, Mommy or Daddy. It is funny to watch him choose, some days Mommy and some days Daddy, sometimes no thought and others a long debate. Once he has chosen, one of us gets to spend alone time with AJ as he drifts off to sleep and the other gets to rock with Boo; both are wonderful and fulfilling.

I have learned a lot about AJ and connected with him on a deeper level. I would never trade our bedtime routine because it is valuable time well spent. It is a time to talk about the fun things that we did, what was learned in school, friends, and of course the issues that we had during the day.

I make it a point to talk about what happened and why. At the end I tell him how special he is and that I love him. I never want him to go to bed thinking that he is bad or somehow not enough. Bedtime is our time to get out feelings, connect and express love.

Boo likes to walk around his room and say goodnight to the fish on his walls. Then we sit in the rocking chair; listen to classical music and talk. I tell him how much I love him and that he is a special and unique boy. I talk to him about the things that we did during the day. I tell him how smart he is and that I am proud of him. Then I gently lay him in his crib, he cuddles up with blankie and goes to sleep.

We can’t have a conversation like I do with AJ but I want to make sure that he knows how much he is loved and how special he is to me.

I believe that a child’s self esteem is built through positive reinforcement. We will have issues, they will get into trouble and I will have to put them into time out but I want them to learn from it while feeling loved. I think that it is my responsibility to teach them right from wrong and maintain their self confidence at the same time.

At the end of the day we reflect, talk about the issues, separate the behavior from the boy, and reconnect with love.

It is something that I can easily do; I know that they feel good when they go to bed and wake up happy the next day.

That is enough for now and I know that as time goes on we will spend less time lying in bed together and more time talking at the dinner table. I hope that the time that we spend now makes it easier for them to come to us later.

Life can be hard and my wish for them is to get through it with support. I want to be there for them at all ages and want them to feel safe talking to me about anything. I am laying the groundwork for open lines of communication later on and a relationship full of love and mutual respect.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.