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Mommy Milestones

Mommy Milestones is a voice of REALITY for moms. This refreshing blog emphasizes that mom, her changing life and having fun are as important as raising your baby. Tips and time savers for motherhood, parenting, kids and more are offered from a mom who is living it now.

Thursday, August 14, 2008 - Posts

  • Mommy Sick Days

    No sick days for Mommy…

    Over the past week I have been under the weather and am proposing that we create a national program that provides sick days for mom or "at home" parents.

    Being a mom is a full time job, we do not get benefits, overtime pay or sick leave. I think that this is ridiculous and needs to be changed. I am writing to the health insurance companies and requesting that they include spousal sick days for a parent that stays home with their kids.

    I guarantee that Joe and I would chip in some extra money if it meant that I could have a sick day from time to time. I rarely get sick, maybe once a year, but when I get sick I tend to get really sick; caring for the kids sometimes includes lying on the couch, begging them to talk quietly and watch a movie while mommy rests. It usually doesn’t work but I am not above trying.

    Last week, right before the reunion I started to feel my voice cracking and my throat was scratchy. I thought that it was just allergies and with some Echinacea would disappear. After a weekend of talking, staying up late and a few glasses of wine, my voice was completely gone. By Monday I made an appointment and got in to see my doctor.

    I begged for some way to speak again and she reluctantly prescribed an antibiotic. Her kids are older and she has apparently forgotten the need for a voice with 2 small children.

    AJ had been yelling at me because he couldn’t hear me and thought that meant that I could not hear him, hence a big loud voice to help out mom. I explained that I had to whisper because my voice was tired and needed a rest so he began whispering and resting his voice to the point that I could barely hear him. I needed help and the antibiotic was my only hope.

    I have not had a sick day since my kids were born. My mom did come over once when Boo was little because I was vomiting so much that I was afraid that I would not be able to care for him and AJ at the same time. She brought me soup and stayed for a while until I could go a few hours in between trips to the bathroom. Joe’s job demands his attention and he can rarely get a day off without notice so he is rarely able to offer the assistance of a sick day for me.

    I believe that our Health Savings Account (HAS) should be available for spousal sick days. I believe that any "at home" parent should be covered by the HAS plan and allowed 10 sick days per years. The HSA spousal sick days could be used when a fever, loss of voice, vomiting, diarrhea, migraine headache, injury or bad back seem to be acting up and reduce ones ability to care for and parent small children.

    Mental health days would be required once per quarter and failure to take a mental health day would terminate coverage. Massage therapists would be listed under metal health care providers and be covered under the plan.

    A sick day would include a nanny from 7:30 am until 6:30 pm. The nanny would watch over the children and make sure that the sick parent have ample time to rest, go to the doctor and get well. The maximum coverage would be 3 consecutive days, if the parent is still not well then the other parent would be required to take time off and stay at home with the children.

    I guarantee that "at home" parents everywhere would be grateful and not abuse the HSA spousal sick day program. The much needed rest would make us more able to care for and parent our children knowing that the occasional illness would be covered. The mental health days would help by reducing stress, providing emotional support and assisting in overall health and well-being.

    As a sick mom trying to get her voice back, taking antibiotics and regular doses of cough syrup, I am ready and waiting for the much needed Mommy sick day.

    Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

  • What do you want to be when you grow up?

    As I sit and watch the Olympics I am in awe of the wonderful men and women and their families. The choice to be an athlete, more importantly an Olympic Athlete seems to be a time consuming and all encompassing decision for both the athlete and their family.

    The level of commitment, support and drive is unparalleled as they wait for years to be able to compete. Their life takes on the appearance of a full time job. The desire to win and love of the sport help them persevere and push through the tough times.

    As a mom I see the emotions of the families and the life that they created so that their children had the opportunity to fulfill their dreams. The financial commitment, constant practice sessions, and emotional support required seem daunting yet immensely rewarding.

    AJ does not really get the concept of Olympic Athlete but he likes to watch the people play and the excitement. For him a Fireman, Builder, Baseball Player, Trash Truck Driver, Sports Car Driver, and Soccer Guy top the list of cool fun jobs to have in the future.

    He likes to play sports and has often said that he will be a Major League Baseball Guy or Golfer like Tiger Woods when he gets older. I tell him that anything is possible if he continues to learn and practice.

    We often sit and play and I ask questions about what he likes or talk about the jobs that the he would like to have. He likes to build with Legos, blocks, and Tinker Toys so we talk about construction work, architecture, and drawing. Right now everything sounds fun to him and he is not going to limit himself to one job when he gets big, he wants to do all of them.

    The funny part of talking about getting older, jobs, and the fun stuff that people do is that he often asks me what I want to be when I grow up. At first I laugh and say that I want to be a Mommy and spend time with him. That is the truth but does that mean that I was all grown up now?

    I began to think about it, what do I want to be when I grow up and when do I consider myself being grown up? I think that I have been in perpetual growth mode and have never really considered an end to growing.

    The question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" can have many answers like in the case of AJ. He can have many phases of grown and be a baseball player, a soccer player, a construction builder and more; why not if growing up takes a lifetime?

    I feel like I have gone after what I wanted to be at the moment that I decided. My parents seemed to encourage independence and strong will from the time that I was little. They told me that I could do anything if I wanted to badly enough and tried. I remember going to college and wanting to work in marketing and then 4 years out of college I started a marketing business. Then I decided that I wanted to own a doggie day care, so Joe and I helped to renovate the building and opened the business. As that was growing, Joe and I decided that we were ready for a family and my dream of being a mom came true. Being a mom led to writing and starting a non profit foundation. Writing became a passion and an outlet for me to share with others and the non profit became a way to give back.

    Now, AJ is starting preschool and I am once again looking at the elusive question, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I am happy with where I am, what I have accomplished, and what I am doing, but the question still repeats in the back of my mind.

    I love being a mom, I love writing, and I find myself wondering, what else will I love to do in my life; maybe art, maybe another business, maybe more consulting, maybe…who knows?

    I hope to be a model for my kids showing them that anything is possible, especially with a job or career. Nothing is too great or too small if you really want it, all that you have to do is believe, try and trust in yourself.

    What do you want to be when you grow up can come in the form of a job or a career but

    I’ve decided that it is far more than that; what I want to be when I grow up and along the way is happy, laughing and having fun!

    Off to make another Mommy Milestone.


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