The troops are rowdy and chaos is inevitable!

Apparently the kids have way too much energy and I am too tired to provide enough of an outlet for excess stream. I am pretty sure that between the boys they could power Thomas the Tank engine for a few laps around the island of Sodor right about now.

I can’t quite explain to Joe why some days he comes home and the kids are calm and ready for a peaceful dinner and other nights they are energetic, restless or overly exhausted.

There is no rhyme or reason to the days, they are pretty much the same from week to week but one week Monday is nuts and the next it is Thursday. One day they are too tired and the next they have tons of energy.

I have determined that no matter how much we do or don’t do, it doesn’t affect the dinnertime mood. I feel bad for Joe because he wants to come home to a peaceful house, have a nice dinner and hear about what went on at school, tumbling class or Karate. Some days he gets to be involved, ask questions and hear about the day and other days he doesn’t even get a one word response.

I talk to the kids all day long and try to get them to tell their daddy about their day so that he can feel involved but some nights even I am too tired to put forth the effort to pry the information from their little mouths.

Today is one of those days. I am tired, the kids are rowdy and beginning to rile up the dogs. I see the writing on the wall, "Beware! Someone is about to get hurt," but I don’t have the energy to act fast enough; down goes Boo on the hardwood, about to be trampled by AJ and 2 eager puppies.

Joe will be home in minutes, chaos has ensued, and a peaceful dinner shall not be had tonight.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Sometimes I forget how powerful it is to get together with a bunch of women and talk. There are times in life when getting together with friends is difficult. Work, kids, activities and the daily "stuff" gets in the way.

I rarely take the time to just sit and talk with women that I do not know, let alone the ones that I do know.

So, when I decided to go to the Blogher conference I thought that it was strictly to learn more about the blogosphere. In the process, I was lucky enough to meet a group of wonderful women who enjoy telling their stories, sharing information and building community through blogging.

I sometimes find it hard to walk up to a group of strangers and put myself out there. At this conference I had no choice; I did not know another soul that was there. I had a choice to sit by myself, eat in my room, and pass on the social events or step out and try. I decided to try, walked up to someone and introduced myself. I did it over and over throughout the weekend and found that we all had something to talk about.

Meeting those women and stepping out of my comfort zone was truly a gift. I enjoyed talking and laughing with strangers as they became friends. I found out new things about me as well. I allowed myself out of my normal comfort zone and tried something new.

I learned about others, learned about myself, missed my husband and kids and, again, appreciated them for their support of my personal and professional goals.

The power of connecting with other women and taking time for me were gifts that I do not take for granted.

I spent money, time and energy away from my family and that is always a sacrifice. I am glad that I was able to appreciate the power that I felt through the connections, understanding the importance of community, and making friends thousands of miles away.

If you have an opportunity to go to an event that consists of women you might consider taking the time to go. Take a friend or brave it alone, either way I am sure that you will find a special connection and find the power that comes from the community of women. We, women, have a way of hearing the unspoken, feeling the subtle, and communicating what needs to be heard. 

Make an effort, step out of your comfort zone and see what happens. You might be surprised. The power of women connecting with women affects all aspects of our lives, especially motherhood.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Picnic table or chair??

Gotta Love a Special Treat! Add Pudding, Instant Humor!

The Winner and My Favorite -- Daddy Time!

As babies my kids ate anything that I put in front of them and as time has passed, they eat less and less and have become picky in their food choices. For dinner my kids will eat most meats as long as they have a dip, very few veggies, noodles, rice and fruit. Creating a balanced meal that will get eaten without a huge fight has become an issue, especially for AJ. Boo still eats most things but watching his brother has created a few bad habits already.

I tried the Sneaky Chef cookbook and that seems to work most of the time but I have to be prepared with all of the ingredients and need to plan ahead with frozen veggie puree. I have yet to get that organized and find myself resorting to the food labels on the products that I buy.

I have been coached to buy organic whenever possible and try to do that with fruits and veggies. Packaged foods have been more of an issue and I have found myself spending a lot of time looking at the health food products and still feeing a bit overwhelmed with the labels.

Finally a solution appeared, "Eat This Not That for Kids" by David Zinczenko (http://www.amazon.com/Eat-This-Not-That-Kids/dp/160529943X). The book has been eye opening on health related issues. I try to think of myself as a health conscious mom and add as much nutrition to our home cooked means as I can. However, thanks to this insightful book, I now see that some of the products that I am buying could be changes to make a significant difference in the sugar intake, sodium levels and energy of my kids.

The book details the best and worst food to eat at restaurants, fast food establishments, and at the grocery store. I found that even though labels say no Trans fats, it doesn’t really mean that there are no Trans fats, confusing but related to serving size.

I had been trying to get some fiber into my sons and give them a healthy breakfast that they would eat. I gave them Strawberry NutriGrain bars thinking that they were a good breakfast alternative only to find out that they do not get sugar from fruit but high fructose corn syrup.

I now use this book when making my shopping list and buy the "eat this" foods and try to avoid the "not that" foods. Changing my buying habits and understanding the serving size info can help me feed my kids food that can fuel their activities without the sugar crash.

My kids are incredibly active and thin right now and I plan to keep it that way.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

It is about the time of year when I start to think about our annual family calendar. This is my third year creating a calendar and thank goodness it is getting much easier! Our family looks forward to getting a new calendar at Christmas every year. It has become a fun tradition and the kids will be able to see themselves in print for years to come.

The first year I tried to create it in word; not an easy task. It looked okay but was pretty amateur.

The next year I went to InDesign and it looked a lot better but still had the look of a novice designer.

This year I was introduced to Shutterfly and their Collage Photo Calendar. I am excited that it will only a take a few minutes to create what has taken me weeks in the past. http://www.shutterfly.com/shop/product_c10016-p2031/Calendars_Collage_Calendars

Shutterfly will allow me to create a 12 or 18 month calendar with 1-9 photos per month. I can choose from a variety of backgrounds or borders and change each month based on the colors in my photos.

The best part is that it is going to cost less than the calendars that I had created in the past.

I wanted to share this great find with you so that you too can create a fun family calendar to give your family and friends this holiday season.

Have fun Shutterfly’in!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

AJ is now 4 1/2, engaged in Karate and working on attitude and discipline awards. As his mom, my goal is to see him succeed and understand how he was successful. I am not sure that he fully understands why he is getting the stripes but he feels proud when he does.

With that in mind, Joe and I decided to make it a little easier for him to understand. We set up a "Job List" for both boys that included things like putting clothes in the hamper, picking up dishes from the table, putting toys away, listening to teachers and parents, etc.

We then put together a list of "Above and Beyond" things that would go towards a discipline award for Karate. The above and beyond list was for things that were not asked of them but they did anyway; help out around the house, help another person, or something done out of pure kindness.

We sat the boys down and began to discuss the lists. We got out paper, smiley face stickers and proceeded to make a sheet for the week. We wrote clothes in hamper and drew a picture of the hamper, wrote brush teeth and drew a toothbrush, and continued until we had the list complete for both boys.

We told them that we would put the stickers on every night and at the end of the week we would do something special if there were a lot of smiley faces on their sheets.

AJ was so excited and couldn’t wait until it was time to put on the stickers. Thanks to the "Above and Beyond" list, we found that he was doing more out of kindness than we thought and we made sure to praise him for that at the dinner table.

It was fun to see his recognition of a job well done. He knew that what he was doing was good and he appeared to be having fun with the process.

I thought that I might need to spice up the job list after a while and decided to get some age appropriate chores to add to the list. I found these on Random Angie:

Ages 2 - 3
*Help make the bed
*Pick up toys and books
*Take laundry to laundry room
*Help feed pets
*Help wipe up messes
*Dust

Notes about this age:
*Excited to help
*Needs complete supervision
*Laying the groundwork

Ages 4 - 5
*Clear and set the table
*Dust
*Help prepare food (example: add ingredients, stir)
*Carry in groceries and put some away

Notes about this age:
*No constant supervision needed
*Feeling independent

Ages 6 - 8
*Be responsible for a pet
*Vacuum and mop
*Take out trash and replace bag
*Fold and put away laundry

Notes about this age:
*Feeling very independent
*Not as excited to help you

We plan to keep the lists as long as we can because it seems to be working. Boo is learning good habits by watching AJ and AJ is happy to teach his little brother. The additions of the "Job List" and the "Above and Beyond" list have been an asset and visual aid in our home. The kids get the opportunity to see how well they are doing and when they make a mistake. Plus, we did not give any definite reward such as allowance, toys, treats, etc. because we felt like special family time was a great reward for all of us. We have let them pick what they would like to do together and so far we have taken a celebratory bike ride to the park, gone to Dairy Queen for an ice cream cone, made soft tacos together, and raced cars down the driveway. I am sure that the rewards will get more advanced as they age but for now we are happy with the results.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Everyday as we walked away from school, AJ and I talked about what he did that day, the center that he worked in, who he sat with at snack time and what he did during large group time. I felt like I had a pretty good handle on what was going on and how he was doing in school. He was able to give me a detailed report down to the side jokes that the teachers made. He told me that Ms. DeDe had eyes on the back of her head and he began telling Boo, “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”

Three weeks of preschool flew by and Friday folders started to come home. Friday folders help the teachers communicate with the parents between conferences.

The folder contained a list of possible skills that a child should obtain and master during preschool. Things like fine motor skills, making friends, following directions, etc. all get an X for satisfactory or a W for working on it. At the bottom of the sheet the teacher can write a note to the parent that is a bit more personal.

I was excited to get the first folder and found that AJ was easily distracted. Well, he is 4 and there are over 20 kids in class so I figured that it was a normal developmental thing and began talking with him about focus. I thought that I could help him understand the expectations of school and that teachers like you to look at them when they are talking.

The next week they noted that he is very creative and can build something out of any object provided. He even made a spaceship out of coat hangers in the dramatic play center. They were pretty impressed and began to see that his style of learning was much more creative than most of the kids in his class. I decided to have a conversation with the teachers and find out what type of learning was most successful in their class.

They noted that they try to accommodate all types of learning but that AJ seemed easily distracted and not listening during large group time. I mentioned to them the types of information that he tells me after class and they quickly decided that he was able to listen and process without watching them or overtly paying attention. They told me that a successful student needs to be able to pay attention by looking at the teacher and showing them that he is paying attention by responding to group questions, hand movements and participating in activities.

That night Joe and I had a long conversation about AJ and how we could help him be more successful in school. He was learning, retaining information and advancing his skill set but he was not paying attention in a way that would help him over the long haul.

I had received a flyer in the mail about a Karate center near school that promoted confidence, focus and other personal skills as a prominent part of their Karate program. Joe and I decided to try their 2 week free trial as an option to develop eye contact and the ability to stay still. He went to the first class and was totally hooked! I was excited about the school as well. They spoke to the kids as people and not just to the parents as a paycheck.

During the first class, they defined focus as 4 different things: focus the mind, focus the eyes, focus the ears and focus the body. They told the kids each form of focus and then practiced them. They would stand in attention pose, look into the instructor’s eyes and count together to 10. If they looked away they had to start over. It only took AJ 2 times of starting over before he got the concept and was able to focus his eyes and count every time. I was impressed, we had been trying to get him to maintain eye contact for a long time and this seemed so simple.

The next thing that the school did was explain their belt system, attitude stripes and discipline awards. The school was focused on the whole child. They expect the parent to work with their child every day, read to them, bring in homework assignments, study sheets, and a list of things that they did to help out without being asked. For every piece of homework, job list or 10 reading sessions they get a red stripe and for Karate related objectives they would get a black stripe.

AJ was so excited to teach his brother, help him, clean for me, do study assignments and learn the school creed that he got his first black stripe and 3 red stripes within a week. He has continued to excel, pays more attention in school and is able to sit still during reading time.

I could not have asked for a better solution to our distraction issue. Not only is he showing that he is listening, he is developing other skills that compliment his creative mind.

There are hundreds of Karate schools around the nation and we went to 2 before we chose. They are all different, focus on different things and relate to the kids differently. If you have a distraction issue, less confident child or want to direct some excess energy, Karate is a great solution. Make sure to research the school and be sure that your child is happy there or it won’t make a profound difference. AJ loves his school and we couldn’t be happier.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

I am a firm believer in journaling everyday. I have so many thoughts running through my head about my family, things that happened during the day and things that I need to get done and I find that writing them down is the only way to keep track of them all.

To keep from forgetting, over thinking and obsessing, I write my thoughts down and process them every day. I tend to let my mind focus on the things that are the most destructive and cause worry if I allow them to circle and have free reign.

Thinking about their place in the world and processing what I want to do with the thoughts helps me to release the ones that do not serve me and remember the ones that do.

From time to time I go back and read some of my journal entries as a double check to make sure that I am on my own personal track, following a course that feeds my soul and releasing my negative thoughts.

An email came that struck a cord with me and I found myself journaling about how it applies to my life as a mom.

Lessons from The Tao Te Ching or Daodejing

1) Live with Commitment. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth "You Owe Me". Just look at what happens with a love like that....It lights up the whole sky.

2) There is no way to Happiness...Happiness is the way. Bring Happiness to all you do.

3) You accomplish much by trying less.

4) See yourself in everyone you encounter. They want peace, not always struggling, not being sick. They want love.

5) Trust in others to know what’s best for them.

6) Live without attachments and be generous with what you have.

7) Be strong by bending.

8) When you have a choice to be "Right" or to be "Kind" – Always pick to be "Kind".

9) Practice radical humility. Live low like the ocean for all the streams will come to it.

10) Rather than looking for Miracles, see everything as Miraculous.....

11) Practice death while you are alive. Live as though heaven is on earth. Release yourself from your burdens, regrets, guilt, and anger that cages you. Instead live in peace, tranquility, forgiveness and harmony. 

The email prompted me to journal about my parenting style, my kids, my relationship with Joe, and how I interact with others as I walk through life.

I have had a need to be right, had attachment to things, and thought that I knew what would solve another’s problem. As I read the email, I found myself thinking, reflecting and focusing on change.

I want my children to learn for themselves with gentle guidance and simple lessons at an early age. I want them to understand the gift of kindness, miracles and most importantly to live with happiness.

As I wrote, I decided that in order to instill these qualities in my children, I must embrace them within myself. I needed to change in order for them to emulate my actions rather than rely on them understanding my words. I know that kids tend to learn by watching and do as the parent does rather than listen and do what the parent says.

As I continue to journal, my goal is to remind myself to be more flexible, to reflect on how my kids show me how they see me through their actions and to change what I do not wish to see again.

Thank you change-promoting email, for coming at a time when I was ready to listen and make a positive change in me and my life.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Oh Christmas List,

Oh Christmas List,

Why do you start so early?

My kids see toys, they want them now,

Waiting makes them Surly!

"What will Santa Bring?" I ask, "He needs a list to know."

They reach and cry and beg for toys 3 months before they show.

Oh Costco do you really need to put out the toys right now?

For months I have to shop there and my kids will have a cow!

Oh Christmas List,

Oh Christmas List,

My hand it starts to ache.

Hot Wheels, Star Wars, Thomas the Train

Come on, give me a break!

For now the toy list is on the fridge, growing in every way,

In hope that one will show long before Christmas Day!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone

Have you ever had your child wander off at the neighborhood park, the grocery store or an amusement park?

In a matter of seconds a child can seemingly disappear and leave a parent frantically looking for them.

We are blessed with one of these children. We jokingly call AJ ‘Curious George’ because he is fascinated by thousands of things and will stop, wander, and roam to take a closer look. He is not trying to get lost or leave, he just can’t help himself. Joe calls it the shiny object syndrome, if it sparkles in his little eyes he can’t resist.

We have had many conversations and fortunately have only had one scare where he actually wandered off in a public place. We were at the pumpkin festival, all of the kids were in costumes and there were games, jumping castles and food in a small area next to the pumpkin patch.

We were going to the jumping castle and AJ was so excited. He was 2 and the castle looked like a lot of fun, he kept talking about it and didn’t understand why we were waiting to go inside.

We told him that we had to have tickets and went to buy some. AJ was standing next to Joe and we were all talking, a second later I looked down and AJ was gone. Joe and I were frantic, we and our group of friends spread out to search for him. After a few minutes of searching I got smart and took a look in the jumping castle. There he was, smiling and waving at me as he jumped. I made him get out and felt the urge to hold him tight and throttle him all at the same time. I was in tears and so glad to find him. We talked a lot about wandering off and he obviously got the picture because he hasn’t done it since.

I wished for something to give me peace of mind in a situation like that and provide some form of safeguard that I would get him back if he were to wander again.

I just found out that there is a product that can help if you have a wandering child like mine.

My friend Elizabeth told me about a company, SafetyTat, who produces a Safety Tattoo to provide a phone number for someone to call if your child is lost.

 http://store.safetytat.com/store/

The tattoo says "If lost please call:" and you write in your phone number. The tattoos come in two types -a traditional tattoo that uses water to apply and a peel and stick version.

SafetyTat has even branched out to tattoos that alert people to medical conditions such as autism, diabetes, nut allergies, and more. http://store.safetytat.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=9

I am telling everyone that I can about the SafetyTat in hope that no child gets lost without a number to call when they are found. It is a horrible feeling to search for a child that is too young to remember their phone number, without any identification, and pray to get them back safely.

The SafetyTat can help when your child starts to cry after realizing that they are lost and some kind soul can call and reunite the parents with their lost child. http://store.safetytat.com/store/

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Recently I began to experience the restless, mind rambling effects of insomnia for reasons unbeknownst to me. I found myself waking up between 2 and 3 every morning with a mind full of thoughts that circled and annoyed me.

By the time that I went back to sleep it was time for Joe to get up and then the kids. It had been weeks of restless, interrupted sleep and I was exhausted.

I kept trying to determine why my mind was racing, was I overstressed, under pressure, working out too much or too little, or just letting life’s little issues stew in the back of my mind until they broke free from their cages as I slept.

I had yet to rule out the food that I was eating and eliminated late night snacks. Much to my dismay I was still waking up. I decided that I might as well enjoy my snack if it really didn’t matter anyway.

One night I sat up at 3 a.m., disgusted, fed up, and ready to have it out with me. Why, I asked myself, am I waking up and staying up with all of these annoying, silly thoughts rambling through my head?

I waited for a reasonable answer but was frustrated by the circle of silly little thoughts that continued to play in my mind.

Thoughts like:

You forgot to wash AJ’s Karate uniform after you let him jump in that mud puddle.

Tomorrow is tumbling class and you didn’t turn in the form yet.

AJ needs a new folder before he can get his stripes in Karate class.

Boo’s blanket is dirty and he might get sick if you don’t wash it soon.

My nails look awful and I should take the time to fix them.

I kept wondering why such insanely miniscule, ridiculous little thoughts would invade my somber sleep. Then it hit me, I was berating myself in my sleep for not accomplishing all of the tasks during the day that I must have felt I needed to get done. So, I subtly reminded myself of all of them at night.

It made me mad, I mean really ticked off that I was putting such petty thoughts and personal abuse ahead of much needed sleep. I mean really, does laundry come before pleasant dreams? It shouldn’t and I was determined to find a way to stop the madness.

Determined to find a possible solution I decided that a notebook on my nightstand would help. I could write down all of the things that I needed to accomplish the next day and get them out before I slept, that way my sleep wouldn’t be interrupted by my thoughts.

Eureka, it worked, well sort of, I woke up a few times with thoughts of "Oh No, I forgot…" but continued to write them down in my trusty notebook and fall back asleep.

What a time saver, I made my to do list the night before, added my sleepy reminders and checked them off throughout the day. Plus, I was sleeping again, maybe not all night but a lot more than before.

Goodbye insomnia and hello daily check list!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Much to my delight, I was introduced to laughter yoga during my last yoga class. It was a wonderful, fun break from traditional yoga and created such happiness in the room and in me.

Like I did, you might ask "What is Laughter Yoga?"

Laughter Yoga (Hasya Yoga) is a physically oriented technique that uses a blend of playful, empowering and otherwise "tension-releasing" simple laughter exercises. With gentle yoga-breathing and -stretching exercises, rhythmic clapping and chanting of Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha in unison as simulated laughter turns into real laughter. Laughter Yoga is done as a way to improve health, increase well-being and promote peace in the world through personal transformation.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laughter_Yoga)

As the instructor began to explain laughter yoga and the stress reducing benefits that come with it I started to understand why I was having such fun with my boys and their form of yoga. The DVD was all about laughter first and the yoga poses second.

It suddenly made sense to me and I was excited to participate. I found, though, that I was a lot more self conscious with a group of adults than I was with my kids.

Very few of us had heard of laughter yoga and we were told that even if you don’t feel like laughing, fake it and a real laugh will come. I wasn’t sure about that but within a few minutes we were all laughing, acting like seagull, and having fun with yoga moves interspersed throughout the hour.

At the end of class the instructor gave us some tips that I will share with you.

She said, "In a really stressful situation, when you are angry, or when laughing seems like the last thing that you can do, try a little laughter yoga and see if it changes your internal barometer to happy."

"Breathe in and chant Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha over and over until you begin to smile naturally, feel silly and enjoy the extra oxygen in your body. A few rounds of the chant in your car, the bathroom, or outside can make a huge difference in your attitude."

"If people are around and laughing like a crazy person is not an option then smile, grin from ear to ear and laugh to yourself inside. Think of a funny joke, something that your kids did, or, as a last resort, picture everyone naked, it usually does the trick and you find yourself in lighter spirits."

‘When you get mad at your kids, rather than explode or yell, try to find the humor in the situation, even if it means that you send them to time out while you look; it is better and more rewarding to wait, try to laugh, and gain composure before dishing out punishment."

"Smiling, laughing, and enjoying life can be contagious and stressful situations might just change as your perception of them changes."

She challenged us to smile and laugh at stress, anger, fear, and anxiety for a week and see if our moods, relationships, and overall feelings changed.

I challenge you to do the same, smile, laugh and chant Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha when you feel stressed and see if you too can change your attitude. Realistically, what is the worst that can happen, you feel a little silly, laugh a little more and take yourself a bit less seriously.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

So much for the mind body thing, my mind is currently too occupied to be bothered with allowing serenity. It apparently does not have the time. So, no matter how much yoga I have done, the various stretches and positions have yet to calm my meddling mind and create peace and serenity.

The closest that I have come to blissful yoga is doing the Jabberwocky Jellyfish and Volcano with the boys. My mind seems to like the fun and silly forms of yoga and fights the serene mind calming version.

So, I surrendered and will do yoga merely for the physical benefits. My body is feeling better and more limber, not anywhere near flexible but definitely more limber.

I began to look into other classes like pole dancing, erotic dance, dance lessons, aerobics, Pilates and Zumba. I felt like I needed something to help me feel better about myself in a sexy and playful way. As moms know, feeling sexy after chasing kids, cleaning up poop, and wiping noses can be next to impossible.

Joe says that he finds me attractive and sexy but realistically, I don’t feel it 97% of the time. I thought that maybe a workout with sex appeal might do the trick. Besides, using my mind to think about sex was a far better use of time than fighting serenity.

For a brief fleeting moment I really considered the pole dancing class but decided that it wasn’t a good idea because:

(a) I don’t have a pole

(b) I am not that talented in high heels

(c) I am somewhat clumsy and accident prone

I can only imagine explaining to my family that I got hurt trying to swing around a pole and be sexy. Zumba was my next choice as an attempt to feel sexy through dance.

For those of you, who do not know what Zumba is, it is defined by my gym as Cardio exercise Latin style where you work up a sweat doing salsa, cha-cha and merengue moves.

I figured that a little Latin flare and some sexy hip moves could be the right thing to change my mind and see myself as a hot, sexy woman again.

I had so much fun that I can not even begin to tell you how much I laughed, looked at myself and my movements in the mirror and felt good. I needed a good strong belly laugh and a moment to stop taking myself so seriously. I watched my body move and thought that it wasn’t bad for a first time Latin Lady.

As the class went on I even felt myself shift into a sexier mindset. I liked how it felt to move my hips, glide and shake but not in the jiggling way for a change.

I had fun and walked out of my first Zumba class feeling more like a Latin lady than a tired mommy. I might even salsa dance around the house the next time that I clean and use some of the fun moves that I learned to make the normal routine mommy tasks a little more fun, plus it can’t hurt the love life to feel a little bit sexier when Joe get home from work. VaVaVaVoom!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

AJ and I were talking about school and I asked who he played with on the playground. Much to my surprise he got a little shy, blushed, and said, "I don’t know." As his mother, I know that this is code for "I am embarrassed and am not sure if I should tell you."

I let it go for a minute and started to talk about the work centers and asked who he sat next to at snack time. He got the same shy, rosy glow and I knew that something was up.

He said that a little girl, J. sat next to him. Now I was curious and nonchalantly asked if she was his friend.

"Yes," he said and then it all tumbled out, "she said will you marry me on the playground today."

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Sure and then we played on the slide and looked for dinosaur bones with the shovel."

He seemed less embarrassed after he told me and then continued talking about his day at school. I smiled to myself and made a mental note to tell Joe when he got home.

I was glad that AJ felt comfortable telling me about his marriage proposal. I have been trying to talk to him about everything, be as honest as I can, and keep the lines of communication open for the more important things to come.

I hope that this is a sign of his level of ease and trust talking to me and will translate into talking if he ever needs someone to listen. He is entering public school and I have heard all of the stories of bullies, school issues, teacher problem, etc. and want to be there for him if ever he has trouble.

Joe asked about school and AJ said, "It was fun, I played in the purple center and J. said will you marry me on the playground." That was it and Joe said "that’s nice" and let it go.

After we put the kids to bed we laughed about it and talked about what we remembered in school. It was fun for us to get to talk about something long forgotten all because of AJ’s experience.

Girls sure are assertive and I can only image what it will be like in high school, I can hardly wait. For now I love the innocence of it all and how cute they are at 4.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

I told Joe that I would think about having a third baby after Boo was 2 and that we could decide if we were done or whether to have a third. Boo turns 2 in October and I find myself thinking about my boys, how they have grown, and wonder about having another.

I look at the stages of development -baby, toddler, kid, and  am perplexed at how fast they went and how easily they blend together. I vaguely remember the independence that I had when the boys were babies. I had my own schedule, took them everywhere with me, and still did all of the things that I needed to get done in a day.

A baby sleeps, eats, and takes in their surroundings to learn and grow. They fall asleep almost anywhere, eat on the go, and seem portable. While in it, it felt like the hardest phase but honestly I think that sleep deprivation is what made it so difficult. I say this because I have moved into the next stages, toddler and kid.

A toddler is supposed to watch, learn, and begin to experience life. They are far less eager to fall asleep on the go, want to eat all of the time, which is a bonus because the will sit in the stroller and have a snack, and they are still able to go anywhere. They are more likely to go to bed when they are tired but are increasingly aware that they might miss something.

As my boys moved into the toddler stage I remember wishing for a break. I was so eager for them to crawl that I didn’t think through what that meant to my life. If I had it to do over I would not encourage crawling and walking at 6-9 months, I would wait a bit and be happy with the ease of keeping them on a blanket.

I felt like I had to watch them at all times to make sure that they didn’t find a choking hazard to chew on or a crayon to eat. Boo, entrenched in being a toddler, thinks that he's a big boy, wants to play with all of AJ’s big boy toys, and hates leaving pre-school when he could stay and play too.

When they reach the end of the toddler stage and they fight naps at all cost, don’t eat anything that they loved the day before and refuse to go to bed if anyone else in the house is still up. Strollers are a thing of the past and they want to push the shopping cart instead of ride in it. They become great helpers and leave as many finger prints on the clean glass as they had removed.

AJ moved into the kid stage I am even more busy building towers, working with flash cards and refereeing play between AJ and Boo.

It seems like the past 4 years have gone by so fast and all of a sudden AJ is big, independent, and going to pre-school. I look at Boo and know that the next 2 years will fly by and he will be off as well.

I never thought that I would sit back and wonder how it all went by so fast but it has and here I am wondering. My parents always told me that time went by much faster as you got older and I thought they were nuts. Summers felt like an eternity and school weeks took too long to get to Friday. Now I barely get through a day and it seems like a week has passed.

My inner reflection about AJ’s growth has made me slow down a bit with Boo. I am not as eager to put him into part time per-school, I don’t push at bedtime, and I snuggle him as often as I can. AJ is still young and I get to snuggle on him for a bit longer but I can see that he is growing up and someday might even rub off the kisses that I give him.

We are in the midst of deciding whether to have another baby or not and I can easily see both sides. I love the baby stage but it does change everything. After Boo was born I looked at Joe and said, "What was I thinking? AJ finally sleeps through the night, eats regular food, sleeps in until 8 on a Saturday, and plays well by himself."

Now that I know what it is like to start over I am not sure that I could do it again. I value my sleep, love the stages that we are at with the boys, and have started to do things by myself again.

Plus, our man-to-man coverage would be thrown off, we would have to go to a zone defense and I would have 3 kids to keep track of when I am by myself. Two kids have been enough to almost cause whiplash and three I fear may make me flail in the wind.

But, there is nothing like being pregnant, feeling the baby move, and holding them for the first time. I do miss the baby sounds, holding them while they sleep, and feeling the soft whisper of a breath on my chest as they snore.

Let’s just say that I have not ruled out a third but have not ruled for one either.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.