Before the appointment, I had a whole new language to learn. This "dental restorative visit" is supposed to be as pleasant as possible, so I am NOT to use words that will scare Dylan. So cavities become "sugar bugs," shots are "sleepy juice" and a drill is just a "tooth whistle."
I feel my job is to make this sound like a grand adventure. A dental all-inclusive vacation! I prepped him for a couple of days telling him we'd go to the dentist with heavy emphasis on giggle air and the aftermath (a smoothie of his choice at Jamba Juice.)
Then the day arrived and my explanation comes out in a rush.
"Hey Dylan, we get to be super silly today at the dentist. You pick a flavor of giggle air that will make you feel like Goofy! Now your mouth will feel a little funny while you breathe the air, but they need to get that sugar bug!"
"Mom, how will they get the sugar bug?"
"Well, the dentist will just pluck it out really fast!"
"Pluck, what is pluck?"
YIKES!!! I have deviated from my prescribed terminology. How to explain in nonthreatening terms? My brain is racing, and obviously so is Dylan's...
"Mom, will I get a shot?"
Yes he would, but since he'd be lying there high on nitrous oxide, wearing sunglasses (for the overhead light,) the dentist office assured me chances are he would not know it.
"Uhhh... I'm not totally sure how that part works," I say, which is technically true since I am not a dentist. (OK, I lied, let's face it!) Luckily before he can fire more questions, we arrive and he races for the video games in the waiting room, a stroke of genius to make kids actually want to go to the dentist.
I can't imagine many jobs more challenging than a pediatric dentist, but this woman is a pro. She has perfected the nonthreatening vocab -- she talks about her "sunshine light" (overhead light) and her special specs the "granny glasses." I muse that it would be a kinder world if could do away with those hurtful words. We could all hang out under the sunshine light, pick our personal flavor of nitrous oxide and feel a little floaty... maybe there's a kids' song in that...
The dentist shows Dylan all of her tools (minus the shot). She will "paint his tooth" and he might feel a "mosquito bite" (shot) that he notices, but not too much. Before I know it, he picks Bubble Gum giggle air, and up, up and away he goes. She reiterates about every 30 seconds his only job is to breathe through his nose. Before I know it, he is singing along to some song (not sure if it's in his head or piped in music.) The whole thing is over in about 10 minutes. Dylan emerges cottonmouthed; ready to play more video games.