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Need some advice on a touchy subject

Last post 07-30-2008 11:50 AM by mamania. 2 replies.
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  • 07-23-2008 5:49 PM

    Super Angry [8o|] Need some advice on a touchy subject

    Let me just start by saying that my mother in law baby sets my daughter.  It was her idea to retire to be my babysetter and I was thrilled untill my daughter started to talk.  My mother in law is teaching MY daughter to call HER mom!!!  Why I do not know.  I have expressed my dislike of this to my husband who thinks nothing of it because that's what they call his grandmom.  I just get livid everytime I hear my daughter call her mom, and yes I have corrected her in front of them.  They really don't seem to care about my feelings towards this.  I need some advice.  I have been telling my daughter (she's two) that I am her mom and that her memom is memom.  I don't know what to do, but I absolutly hate to hear my own daughter call someone else mom.  Now I have another daughter due in October and want to correct this before this one gets here.  Any advice on how to get through to them how much this bothers me?  I don't know what to do.  I don't understand why a grandmother would want their granddaughter to call her mom in the first place.  I am the one that carried her.  What do I do? 

  • 07-28-2008 11:14 AM In reply to

    • knowitall
    • Top 150 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-30-2008
    • Wimington, MA
    • Posts 52

    Re: Need some advice on a touchy subject

     pull the pregnancy hormone raging thing....talk to your mother-in-law, start crying, tell her it bothers you very much and you are not sure why, but you would prefer she was not called mom...then apologize for the crying by telling her your hormones everywhere these days and are so sorry to be crying.  Once she sees how upset you are, I would think, she would respect that....keep correcting your daughter...she is still only 2 and she will learn as get's older....maybe you can tell her start calling her nanny or grammy, something that sounds cute...

     

    Good luck with that one, but your only choice is to speak with her directly.

     

     

    Kim
    first time mom to be due dec 2nd 08
  • 07-30-2008 11:50 AM In reply to

    Re: Need some advice on a touchy subject

    WOW. If she can't respect your feelings about how YOUR child is raised, then maybe she isn't the best choice to babysit.

    You said you corrected your child, but have you corrected the grandmother? Have you made it very clear how serious you are about your feelings on this? Because she is really crossing the line, and you have every right to be mad.

    With that said, you said you were "thrilled" before. Is everything else great? Is this worth getting a different babysitter over...?

    And one more idea. I don't know what your relationship is with your MIL, but maybe you could sit down and tell her how lucky she is to be a grandma and that she should be happy with her new role and embrace the new name... Maybe that's it! Is she young-ish? Do you think she's uncomfortable being a "grandma" and is trying to stay "mom" instead...? If so, maybe she needs a different name than grandma or memom. Something younger, cooler...? It may just be her insecurities screaming, and not meant as a slight to you at all.

    Those are my thoughts! GOOD LUCK!

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