“Oh yeah, my boys can swim!” That’s usually the initial reaction from the man who’s fathered your child. Few men can resist the urge to revel in their seminal potency. Sometimes, however, this initial euphoric state wears off quickly.
Let’s be clear, there are a load of brothers out there who do the Cabbage Patch in excitement for nine months because their queen is with child, and they think their wife has only became sexier with the big boobs and extra pounds. I am not talking about these men -- all three of them. I’m talking about the rest of the male population, whom we love and support, but we understand they are somewhat self-centered and have difficulty accepting change.
Anxiety Angst
If your man is not as excited, involved, talkative, or as obsessive about being prepared for the baby as you are, don’t assume the worst. There may be something else afoot.
Hold on to something steady ladies, and hear this: men have deep emotions about pregnancy, too. That may seem hard to believe and even harder to accept when you’re lugging a load of groceries and he won’t step away from the football game to help you, but it’s true. I say this jokingly, but it is a documented fact that most men are socialized to not show feelings of anxiety, insecurity, or vulnerability. But these can be very real emotions for any man facing fatherhood.
Take my husband for example. I love him dearly, but at times he has the emotional depth of plywood. He's a classic male “fixer,” you know, he wants to fix all problems. And the fact that he couldn’t fix pregnancy -- stop the pain, take away my exhausting 1 ½ hour commute to New York, end my excruciating back pain, yadda, yadda, yadda -- was too much for him to bear. So as I complained about my misery and anxieties, he would have a silence that I mistook for a lack of interest and insensitivity. But he does not like situations where he does not know what to do. He would later tell me that he was worried sick about me all the time, but didn’t want to show it. What’s worse, these nine months would only culminate with what he couldn’t take even more -- watching me in intense pain and with no ability to stop it.
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